Diary of an SME Owner: missing in action

In his first monthly column of 2025, Michael Taggart continues to tell all about the highs and lows of relaunching and running a tea company, MDTea, alongside his wife, Helen. This month, Michael ponders his first bad payer, leaving Twitter / X and the death of his mum.

Jan 5th, 2025

Hello again, Diary. Apols for going M.I.A. these past six months. I lost my proverbial writer’s pen under a metric fucktonne of malaise sometime in May. By June, I was spending more time on social media responding to the posts of complete strangers with the words “it’s *you’re* – not ‘your’…” than journalling my life as a business owner.

But, like the legendary phoenix, Gloria Gaynor, and the QR code, I’m back – and ready to be embraced with double helpings of cyberhugs.

So much has happened since the end of spring so let’s break it down. 

We had to sue a guy

About this time last year, we landed what looked to be a fabulous client – a small chain of delis, run by a middle-aged bloke who seemed a pillar of the community. Chinese businessmen, in their wisdom, have a word for people like this fella. Unfortunately, I can’t remember the word but it’s whatever the Mandarin is for “fucker”.  

We took until mid-summer to realise The Fucker was a fucker and it happened when we asked a third time for payment for his only order at that point (and since), worth several hundred pounds.

He responded with what turned out to be the latest in a long line of sham assurances that he’d cough up. By that stage, The Fucker – shall we call him Mr F from now on to spare small eyes? – was breaking his promises so regularly, it sometimes felt like some absurd performance art.

In the end, we required six months of legal manoeuvring to force Mr F to pay us in full and it is now my sworn duty to tell you how this went down (and how other small business owners in a similar situation might fight back):

STEP ONE: we made a claim for what he owed us at County Court, plus the allowed backdated interest at 13.25% per annum, plus court costs of £50. It was easy – a short online form, which took 10 minutes to fill out. Mr F did not respond within the allowed 14 days.

STEP TWO: we sought, and were awarded, a County Court Judgement against him, based on the fact he had not responded. The court ruled that the full sum was payable immediately. We now had a legally enforceable court order.

STEP THREE: we offered Mr F a generous four-monthly-instalment payment plan, even though we could have demanded every penny that day.

STEP FOUR: Mr F broke the agreement twice, including when the final payment was due, and – both times – we were able to lean on the court order. These were the words we emailed him on the second infraction:

“If the funds do not arrive in our account by close of business today, we will begin enforcement of the County Court Judgement against [Mr F’s business] at 9am tomorrow and seek to recoup the entire costs of enforcement from [Mr F’s business].

As we’ve informed you, enforcement could involve a County Court Bailiff attending your home or business premises to collect the remaining sum or seize goods to sell at auction. We may also seek an order that you attend court for detailed questioning on your finances and assets. As we have warned you, failure to attend can lead to you being held in Contempt of Court and committed to prison for a short period.”

I intended each word to be a single arrow in a devastating combination of double tops, treble twenties and bullseyes that would have Luke ‘The Nuke’ Littler returning his darts to Sports Direct in a huff. Mr F paid up within hours of that email.

We stopped using Twitter / X

This was almost entirely because I want to go to my grave knowing I’ve done close to nothing in support of the aims of Elon Musk, who I’m sure we can all agree is a gargantuan prick. Twitter didn’t really do anything for MDTea anyway.

Unless you’re Taylor Swift or the BBC, the platform is utterly unsuitable for marketing, and is – in my view – far more useful in assisting criminal acts of harassment and incitement to racist violence. 

Some positive business stuff happened (and is still happening)

We netted some big clients, more of which another time. We also employed a sales agency in November and, while it’s too early to know if it’s money well spent (our sales cycle is typically four to six months), the vibes are good.

Finally, we’re now doing a natty line in tea tasting workshops. That’s largely thanks to the “can do” verve of the star of the company – my partner in love and business but not crime, Helen. Let’s run all this up the flagpole for now and see who salutes. Circle back in Feb?

More from Michael Taggart

My mum died

December was by far the best month we’ve ever had in retail sales – both in the high street and on the website – but the worst in a more profound way.

Diary, I told you about my mum’s illness nearly a year ago when she was approaching the final stages of a rare and aggressive neurological disease, called progressive supranuclear palsy. I wrote: “I hope I make MDTea a success while my mum is around to witness our accomplishment.”

Well, you could make a good case that I failed in that task. My mum breathed her last in the small hours of December 16th in a care home near the house she’d been living in with my dad in Northern France. And that was – is –  well before I could (or can) declare, hand on heart, that this business is an unqualified “success”. 

But I don’t mind. My mum wasn’t well enough during her last six months to have noticed or cared loads about the frankly unimportant ways in which I pay for my life. She just wanted me to be happy.

That was, as far as she was concerned, the Promised Land and I think she’d been to the mountaintop and I think she’d seen it. Besides, I also wrote in this diary back in February: “I know she already thinks everything I do is a triumph. Mums do, don’t they?” 

They do. Mine did.

I believe I inherited my mum’s love of a singsong, her tendency towards silliness and her ease with a pen – essentially, the things I like about myself.

And while France has lost its most francophile Scotswoman – and Barbara Streisand her most famous fan – I haven’t lost any of the characteristics my mum gave me.

It occurs all of a sudden that it happens to be her birthday as I write these words. Happy birthday, Mum. And thanks.

Photo credits: Michael Taggart