What to do to help a loved one in debt 

Tolu Frimpong shares how to support loved ones in debt with care, offering encouragement, resources, and empowering steps to freedom.

Supporting a loved one who is struggling with debt can be a delicate and challenging situation.

While you want to help, it’s important to approach it with care, understanding, and practicality. Financial difficulties can cause feelings of shame and stress, and the last thing your loved one needs is judgment or pressure.

Instead, the key to being truly helpful lies in offering emotional support, sharing resources, and encouraging positive steps toward debt freedom.

Here’s how you can effectively support a loved one in debt, while respecting their journey and empowering them to take control of their situation. 

What not to do 

Before we dive into the positive ways you can help, it’s important to understand what actions to avoid. These missteps, though well-intentioned, could make things worse for your loved one in the long run. 

1. Don’t keep bailing them out financially 

It’s tempting to give money to your loved one in an effort to relieve their debt stress, but this doesn’t solve the root of the problem.

Continuously bailing someone out financially can create a pattern of dependency, leaving your loved one without the necessary skills or motivation to tackle their debt on their own.

Instead of offering financial support, consider other ways to help them get back on track. 
 

2. Don’t judge them 

When someone confides in you about their debt, it’s essential to create a safe, non-judgmental space for them to open up. It’s easy to criticise or express frustration, but that will only add to their guilt and shame.

Instead, listen with empathy and understanding. Your role here is to be a sounding board and provide reassurance, not to add to the pressure they’re already feeling. 

How to help 

Now that we’ve covered what not to do, let’s explore the positive ways you can support your loved one through their financial struggles. 

1. Listen and offer emotional support 

Debt can be overwhelming and isolating, and your loved one may feel embarrassed or ashamed about their situation. Simply listening to them without judgment can make a huge difference.

Let them know you care and that they don’t have to face this challenge alone. Offering words of encouragement and empathy can go a long way in helping them feel seen and understood. 

2. Share useful resources 

Encourage your loved one to seek out financial resources that provide expert advice and support. Organisations such as StepChange, Citizens Advice, and The Money Charity offer valuable tools and guidance to help individuals tackle their debt.

These resources can offer a clear, actionable plan for repaying debt, including budgeting tips, consolidation options, and legal advice. 

3. Share inspiring stories 

Sharing stories of others who have successfully paid off large amounts of debt can provide hope and inspiration. Many people have been in the same position and have managed to turn their financial lives around.

Hearing about their journey can give your loved one the belief that debt freedom is possible and that they can achieve it too. 

4. Help them create a budget 

One way to help is by sitting down with your loved one and creating a budget. Writing down income and expenses can highlight potential areas for improvement, such as unnecessary spending.

This exercise may reveal that their financial issue is more about managing money than about having too little income. With a clear budget in place, they’ll be better equipped to take actionable steps toward paying off their debt. 

5. Encourage small, achievable goals 

Breaking down a large debt into smaller, manageable goals can help reduce the feeling of being overwhelmed. Help your loved one set realistic goals such as paying off a specific amount of debt each month and encourage them to focus on progress rather than perfection. 

6. Be part of the solution, not the problem 

If your loved one is trying to cut back on spending, avoid pressuring them to participate in costly activities. Instead of suggesting expensive outings, propose alternative ways to spend quality time together without breaking the bank.

Whether it’s a fakeaway dinner at home, a walk in the park, or a movie night in, your loved one will appreciate the effort to be mindful of their financial situation while still maintaining a strong bond. 

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