How to buy Christmas gifts people actually want

Shoestring Jane is your go-to for finding Christmas gifts your loved ones will actually want this year

The festive season is fast approaching and it might appear that the whole world has gone into a spending frenzy.

But at a time when many of us don’t have endless resources, the idea of spending our hard-earned cash on presents recipients don’t appreciate feels like anathema. So, how can we buy Christmas gifts people actually want?

According to a poll by the Post Office in 2023, almost a third of consumers planned to return some of their Christmas gifts. This was partly down to financial pressures caused by the cost-of-living crisis, but many of those polled said the items were not wanted or wouldn’t be used.

The most common items being returned, sold, regifted or donated were clothes and shoes, beauty items, books and stationery.

I like to think I take a more mindful and well-considered approach to gift buying than I used to. No more rushing around at the last minute chucking gift sets into my basket. I would rather buy nothing than give a present likely to be donated to a raffle in a few months.

On the flip side, wouldn’t we all like to receive gifts with thought and love behind them? A small, well-thought-out present will be more welcome than something expensive but unsuitable. But how can we get our gift-giving right?

What NOT to buy

I asked members of my Facebook Group, My Second Hand & Frugal Life, what their least welcome gifts have been.

They disliked being given items for the home or last-minute petrol station panic buys (and – take note – most of these seemed to come from EX-partners!).

Someone received a vacuum cleaner from her husband for their first Christmas together who was bewildered when she cried. Another received knickers and Tampax, and Paula had replacement foot mats for her car …

Seren dislikes ‘tat’: “Any ornaments, uplifting quotes on plaques, cheap boxed sets of toiletries … scented candles that smell of food (coffee, cranberries, cinnamon, etc).”  Candles came up several times as an unwelcome gift, as did “pointless, sentimental ornaments.”

Buying toiletries is a minefield, as many people have sensitivities and allergies, or only use particular brands. As well as the afore-mentioned gift sets, bubble bath, shower gel and hand cream got the thumbs down. However, these can work if you know what people like. Diane, for example, loves to receive body butter and bath bombs.

Catherine doesn’t appreciate being given clothes that don’t fit her or aren’t her style, and Kerry dislikes festive clothing that she only has a few days to wear. Jilly especially does not like gimmicky socks. “They are always poor quality and can cut your feet.” Joke slippers were another gift seen as a waste of money.

Be careful with edible gifts, too. Christine doesn’t want to receive “Edible gifts, because I’m a coeliac and also intensely dislike coffee and nuts.”

Rachel is not a fan of “anything that is sold ready-packaged as a gift (as there has been) no thought put into it at all.”

The group was split on receiving alcoholic drinks like bottles of wine. Some said they would love them, but others didn’t drink or didn’t enjoy the taste of certain products.

If you are considering alcohol, make sure you know what your recipient likes drinking. Michelle says the only drink she enjoys is a dry white wine, so she doesn’t appreciate receiving “mulled wine or liqueurs such as that famous Irish cream…”

Sami says that because she has a cat she receives things like “cat playing cards, a make your own cat food recipe book and a ‘how to speak cat’ book. Please just get me a bottle of wine!”

So…which Christmas gifts do people actually want?

The thread on my group was revealing. Some presents I thought would be fail-safe, like gift vouchers, were disliked by as many members who said they would appreciate them. 

Many people said they would welcome experience gifts. However, my partner once received a zorbing experience (where you get bounced down a hill in a huge bubble) when he had a herniated disc, so approach with caution!

Rachel prefers people asking what she would like: “I hate spending money on myself, and the thought of spending £50 on a Dermalogica cleanser and moisturiser pains me, but it’s so lovely to get it from someone else.”

Susan has written a list for her family which consists only of gardening or sewing gifts.

Research is key to buying successful Christmas gifts. Take some time to find out what people really want. If you prefer to surprise your recipient, ask their nearest and dearest for some ideas. Otherwise, ask them directly for a list of suggestions. 

You could also use an app such as the Giftster app, which allows you and your group to create wish lists, or Elfster, which is great for a Secret Santa draw.

Do you need to buy gifts at all?

Carolyn says, “I cannot see the sense of buying gifts … just because it is Christmas. As one gets older we have mostly what we need so our present at Christmas is your presence.”

Natalie agrees: “ I would prefer to go out for the day and make memories. They are more precious than any gift.”

Yvonne says she detests “the whole thing of ‘I have to buy/make a gift for xyz. So many are not required or appreciated and the whole gift-giving process is completely out of hand.”

Susan has a different approach: “I started a trend years back with my two boys that we could only spend £5 and it had to be from a charity shop. Always fun to see what we get.”

If you dislike the massive commercialisation of the season, or if you simply cannot afford to join in the gift-giving, then perhaps it is time to take a step back and either reduce your gift purchases to the bare minimum or stop participating altogether.

I would love to know your thoughts on this, and on how to buy Christmas gifts people actually want. What’s your approach to festive present giving?

Photo credits: Pexels